I press the Enter key and the usual Windows desktop appears with all the standard applications I am familiar with: SPSS, Word, Excel, Access, PowerPoint, Firefox, Outlook...Firefox and Outlook. Email! I feel a surge of adrenalin rush through my body. A connection to the outside world! They must have made a mistake. They can't have realised what that means. I glance over my shoulder. I try to make it looks as if I am searching the shelves, in case they are watching but I can't see any cameras. Even so, I swing the PC screen round to face the window and move the chair in front of it, trying to make it look as though I am casually trying to set the workspace up the way that I like it. I don't need any time for further reflection. I must do this, while I still have time, before anyone comes back, before anyone realizes.Click! I launch Firefox. A dialogue box opens - and asks me for a password. Ah. Well what did I expect? If I could get onto the internet with Firefox, I could leave. And his friends, acquaintances, colleagues, could he introduce Abbie to them as his girlfriend? Would any of them suspect? Damn, that is the hardest part of it all. How would his buddies and others react? And could he stand tall and accept their judgment of him? Or could it turn everything between Abbie and him sour? Damn, more questions than answers. He needs help thinking this through.Tim realizes now that he was rather blind to the facts, mesmerized by the beauty Abbie created, but would others see it that way. Or would the truth be realized by them? And would he care if they did know the truth?Again, Tim is so unsure about this. Shit!!! Tim just wants to be with Abbie, though he knows he still isn’t sure how. How open and willing could he be? And all this about dealing with the rest of the world too.Tears start streaming down Tim’s face, making him angry that he can’t control his emotions better. He knows it is all due to his past. But come on, he is over thirty now.
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